Counseling: 10 Mistakes that Most People Make

Dealing with a Marriage Gone Bad and Children

Sometimes, life will not go as we planned it to be, and we may have to face tough decisions from time to time. For example, while you’re doing everything in your power to make your marriage work, that is no guarantee it will. These things can be impossible to control. If your marriage has begun to take away your self-esteem or your peace of mind, then you need to think your relationship over. Whether or not you should get a divorce is a major decision, most especially if you have children. Before you actually decide, here are issues to take into account:

Speak to your spouse.

You may feel utterly uncomfortable talking to your spouse, but it’s a must. Initiate an adult and relaxed conversation regarding your available options and how you can make your marriage better.

Be honest first and foremost to yourself.

When you are honest to yourself, you can be sure that whatever you are fighting for, can possibly work for you. Of course, this also depends on your spouse’ own position on the matter. If he seems quite interested to save your relationship, then there is huge hope for your marriage.

Don’t give up.

It is highly advised that you continue trying and don’t give up unless you totally can’t swallow it anymore. Search for new ways of improving your marriage, like marriage counseling. You may be able to uncover a deep rooted problem and then solve it. Unless you talk about how you feel, there is no possibility of saving your marriage.

Make a decision and stand by it.

At a certain point, you have to make a decision and go with it. Make sure that you are irrevocably comfortable with that decision, and stick to it. Divorce can be crushing, but nothing is worse than going back and forth with your partner while your kids watch. It’s will be challenging, but if divorce appears to be the best decision, have the courage to stand by it.

Speak to your children on their level.

Divorce can make children suffer, especially if they are dealing with other changes in their own lives as well. The best thing to do is talk to them in a way they would understand. If you intend to share custody, create a routine that will cause them the least trouble. In any case, provide reassurance that both of their parents love them unconditionally, regardless of what happens.

Be positive.

It’s pretty heart-wrenching to be going through a divorce or problematic marriage, but you should keep positive and concentrate on all the good things you presently have in your life. Look forward to the future and be careful not to lose yourself in the process; in the end, you will emerge a stronger and wiser version of yourself.

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